It's All In Your Head!!!

My problem with food and my body definitely stems from my head.
I know the above statement is true and I know that looking in the mirror, what I see isn't actually what's there...
so then why don't I stop acting like a complete idiot, wasting my life away counting calories and making sure I've exercised to the peak of exhaustion???
The answer is: I can't!
It's an addiction and a constant cyclical battle.
For every occasional day that I feel great about myself, I have 2-3 weeks of loathing how I look.
It's so frustrating but I can't just turn it off and decide "YES! I love myself now!"
If only...
The other side of it is, I spend that much time in front of the mirror when I'm on my own, to an outsider it may just look like I'm some self obsessed zombie, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Far from self-obsessed I can't stand what I see in my reflection and punish myself by looking in the mirror and reviewing the lack of progress I have made.
It appears like I can't win and it can feel largely like no one else can understand what goes on in my head. Does anyone else feel like this and to this extent?
I'm very strong, confident and bubbly on the outside, I just wish I could feel that way on the inside.
Still, even if I can only help myself and one other person on this planet, I will feel I have accomplished something!
Gecko x