No bottom, No fat, No guilt!!!

No bottom, No fat, No guilt; the slogan that came with my Nando's fat free frozen yoghurt... the first time I've allowed myself dessert for a long time... and I didn't feel guilty. OK so it wasn't a big slab of cheesecake but hey, one step at a time.
All seems to be going well so far.
I've stuck to my weightwatchers and am eating a surprising amount (because its all healthy food)
What's more ED has been kicked out the door (well at least into the back garden) because I have something else to concentrate my energies on.
I haven't used numbers (other than the points) and I haven't weighed myself!
Looking at my little tracker of the food I've eaten over the last few days, I realise I've allowed myself more food than I normally do, and I feel a lot more awake and healthy.
BUT... most of all I feel slimmer, I feel how I did when I joined weightwatchers for the first time (before ED)
I'M IN CONTROL.... it feels so great to say that.
I have been in the gym everyday but it's been healthy exercise not working myself to exhaustion for 3.5 hours at a time.
BF has joined the gym too so spurs me on whilst also secretly (he thinks) keeping an eye on me.
Definitely the best move I've made in a while and such a contrast to how I was feeling this time last week... I just hope it lasts and I'm determined to stick to it and go for a twice monthly weigh in even once I hit my goal weight again.
I'd recommend it to anyone who not only wants to lose a few pounds but, especially for people with ED because it gives you back the control by focusing your mind on other things.
.... Baby Steps!!!
Gecko x

First Day

Hi everyone!
I've set this blog up after 3 very long years of food ups and downs that I can only describe as a constant battle.
This first post is basically to say hi and let you know about me.
I've set this up in order to help other people that have been in a similar position to me at some stage in their lives or even slightly different ones concerning food, weight,societal constraints on how we "should" look, the media's impace, the desire to look slim and the endless ups and downs of dieting and exercise.
I'm not ashamed of the way I am. I make progress but it can feel like I take one step forward two steps back sometimes in the quest to be content with the way I am
I'd like to be in touch with anyone who lives with or has overcome eating disorders and issues with food and exercise.
It's hard to say 'what' I am. I joined weight watchers in January 2007 and lost 4 stone over 15 months. I'm a healthy size 8-10 and normally weigh about 9st 4lbs and am 5" 7'.
The easy part was losing the weight..... the difficulty came in keeping it off and not only that, but the desire to keep getting slimmer and slimmer.
Over the past 2 years I've been through fazes of not eating at all for a few days, eating and purging, exercising for up to 6 hours and lying about my food.
I hide it well from my family but I find it hard not to bring up my latest attempt at weight loss and how much I hope to lose/how much I have lost.
It all sounds very vain and self obsessed, but sufferers know that it has nothing to do with how much we want to talk about ourselves; It's a cry for help.
After finally finding the courage (thanks to my current boyfriend) to speak to my GP, I'm waiting for a course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) to deal with my distorted body image (http://www.thebddfoundation.org/) after emailing an advisor from the body dysmorfic foundation.
Fingers crossed I will finally achieve my ambition to be content with the way I am and I want to help others feel the same way :)